HS: JohnVriska 4

"Are you an imaginary number, because your body is unreal."

You open your eyes half way and stare at John incredulously. You had been busy resting while he made dinner in the kitchen, with his little am/fm radio on the local classic rock station. You let the staticy music and fresh smells of herbs and meat lull you into a comfortable twilight sleep until you were rudely forced back into reality by the same person who relaxed you enough to get you there. You glare up at the ceiling where his face now occupies and push him away. "Are you retarded?"

"Haha! Did you like that?"

"No, why would I like anything like that, John. If you're going to throw puns at your roommate at least make them about something cool..."

"Like spiders."

"Yeah, sure."

"You're the weird one. Who honestly enjoys watching spiders make webs in the corners of their rooms?"

"A lot of people do."

"I'm sure."

"And they keep the other bugs away!" You sit up and take the plate of steaming food from him, scooting over on the couch so that he could also have some place to sit. It was his couch, after all. If it had been your own, you wouldn't have been as giving.

The loser happily plops down next to you. "Right... But what if you get bitten by one? You could get really hurt, you know. People go to the hospital for spider bites..." He gives you the most concerned face anyone has ever given you and your heart sinks a bit. You shovel food into your mouth to distract yourself from the feeling.

"Thanks, MOM... but I know which spiders are dangerous and which aren't. And if I get bit, then I get bit and I'll go to the damn hospital. That's what health insurance is for, anyway." You take another mouthful and the conversation better be over with.

Lucky for you, he lets the issue drop but you glare down at your food as an unfamiliar feeling of dissatisfaction wells up in the pit of your stomach and a small voice in your head chimes in with a, 'You didn't have to be so harsh. He was genuinely concerned with your wellbeing!' Your brows furrow in further until you are staring daggers into your plate and John asks if the food is so bad that it makes you that angry.

__

"Vris... Vriska, wake up."

You blink your eyes open to find that John's face is the only thing you can see. You reel back and gasp in shock before burrowing deep into your comforter, half hiding from the sun and half hiding the blush on your face. You hear him sigh and then feel his hand press softly on top of your blanket, shaking it slightly.

"Vriska, seriously, it's  two in the afternoon and I know it's your day off but I have a surprise for you!"
Your head pops out of your blanket which was a stupid thing to do because you head butt John in the process. But he said he had a surprise for you and if there is one thing Vriska Serket likes, it's when people do shit for you.
You both writhe for a few seconds, clutching your respective heads before John's laugh breaks the silence and you pout up at him, you really need to stop pouting, though. You are not a 5-year-old.

"A-Anyway... the reason I'm waking you up right now is that I have a surprise for you tonight and also it's your turn to do the dishes. They're starting to really smell." The smug, little bastard. Does he really expect you to wake right up and clean on your day off? He has another thing coming if he thinks you'll compl- wait, there is a surprise for you tonight that he has gotten for you? What could it be? This better not be part of his fucking prank gambit because the first time around was annoying enough. You distantly recall sitting down on a strategically placed whoopie cushion a few weeks back. You had chased him around the house until he locked himself in the bathroom. You then waited outside, rhythmically tapping on the door and singing him the sweetest of death threats. He had complimented your voice and that's when you grudgingly sulked back into your room to distract yourself with something else that had nothing to do with cuteness or John.

You spend the rest of the day trying to pry out any hints you can as to what the surprise is but John refuses to cooperate. He knows exactly what to do to push your buttons and this is completely alien to you. Usually, it's the other way around. Tavros is the easiest to upset. You could say anything at all to him and he becomes a stuttering mess. You fondly regard how easily pissed Terezi gets whenever you play any video game with her. Even in rping, she is always out to get you under the false pretense of "justice." Your are so sure, it is just because she has this complex where she has to be better than you, but you know it's all for naught. No one surpasses Vriska Serket in anything. But, now you are living with a man who has not fallen under your gaze even once. He has yet to completely cower after enduring one of your more harsh verbal explosions. Whenever you lunge at him to really hurt him, he takes it in strides and laughs it off like it's SOME KIND OF JOKE. This boggles you. How can a human being be this immune to such, for a lack of a better term, bad vibes. You know you're a negative person. You know you take joy in making others upset from just words alone. John is on the other side of this personality spectrum and you are surprised at how okay everything seems to be going. At least, you think it's okay. He might just be putting up with you like everyone else so that he can live somewhere. He can't afford this place alone, after all. This thought suddenly makes you sad and you aren't sure why.
When nighttime rolls around, John tells you to wear something for a "night on the town." Is he taking you on a date? Will he be paying for whatever it is you both are doing? You are suddenly self-conscious and have no idea what to wear. You ring up Kanaya to ask for advice and she tells you to get on webcam so that she can properly assess your outfits.

You try on about 5 different t-shirt and jean combinations, none of which fly with your friend. You throw the last pair of jeans down on the floor in a huff and kick your closet door closed before throwing yourself on the bed and steadying the bouncing laptop.

"Well, shit what the fuck else am I supposed to wear?" You grumble at your computer and Kanaya's sigh comes out of the speakers.

"Something that shows off your better physical features, of course. If this really is a date, like you say, then you want to show that you can also be girly and sexy, as opposed to this tom boy you have seemed to grown up into. Most girls grow out of that phase, you know. I guess you never got the memo."

"OH HA HA HA. I just don't give a shit about appearances. I thought that was, you know, a cool thing to do."

"It's certainly valiant of you, but it's not realistic." Kanaya taps on her keyboard, obviously browsing on some website while she talks with you. Can't even give you her full attention, can she? Why were you putting up with this, again?

"Well, do you have any suggestions?" You give up and ask.

"I do have one idea, but it would require you doing exactly what I say and also letting me come over."

You relent and Kanaya shows up at your apartment in 10 minutes. John answers the door and she rushes by him, grabbing your arm and dragging you into the bathroom. She shoves a shopping bag into your arms and tells you change into that and to not put up any resistance. If you want her help, you are going to have to do everything she says. Which is exactly what happens. You put on the flowy shirt and stare at yourself in distain as it hangs off of one of your shoulders. You promised, though and Kanaya knows what she's talking about, APPARENTLY, so you put the rest of the outfit on. All there really is left in the bag is a pair of shorts and some boots.

"Hmm... It needs something else..." Kanaya taps on her chin thoughtfully and then, as if she were a fashion oracle, she takes off her own, skinny woven leather belt and puts it around the shirt, pulling up on the shirt a bit to make it drape over the belt. She smiles at you like you are her fucking masterpiece and the king himself is going to hang you up in his main hall.

She then sits you down on the toilet and applies eye makeup, which you protest immediately. You are ignored as she forces you to look up and "honestly, Vriska. It is not hard to keep from blinking for just a few more seconds." She sighs and tries again. You can't help it that it feels uncomfortable and that it makes your eyes water. She finishes up with some lipstick that, after arguing over for a few minutes, is a darker shade than what she would've wanted you to wear. But, she does admit that it suits you much better than pearl pink.

After that, she brushes your 'unruly hair,' as she calls it and puts it in a high pony tail. She straightens and curls back your bangs and then blasts you in the face with hair spray. You cough and yell at her but she just tells you to keep quiet, because you are ready for your mystery event with John.

Kanaya waves good-bye and John walks her out. You have refused to come out of the bathroom, as you have been staring at yourself for the last 5 minutes, not sure if you like what you see or not. What does it matter, anyway? He's just your roommate. He's seen you in the morning, he's seen you in a bathing suit... he's even seen you sitting on the couch in your underwear and a large shirt with your legs propped up on the coffee table. Why did it matter to look good right now of all times?

Because it was a date.

It was probably a date.